Love and Betrayal

Now let's get to the point here ...

After being left by that girl I mentioned earlier, I tried to make another relationship once more in hope to seek a better one other than previously ... also at a distance. This time is even further, a capital of East Java if you're asking me.

I knew this girl actually long ago, when I was still running with the girl who works in a malaysian company. It was still a friendship at first I didn't have a feeling to her before but just a friend from a distance. Well, she studied in a campus located somewhere in Sukolilo .. if you ever heard of it I'm sure which one I'm talking about.

She gave me her cell number so did I ... so it was like when the first time I fell in love with someone who went away from my life forever; not coming back, not even wished to know me ever again. A brief story about my previous gf, after vaccuum for nearly a month I tried to contact her once more in hope of returning the relationship back on the rail -I knew it was mostly impossible but I tried anyway .. who knows it would work- unfortunately, instead of getting a warm welcome I got a kick on the ass; she replied as if I was a stranger annoying her ie. bad tempered. After quite long conversation, she mentioned that she's on approach with someone she knew from the net which was her senior in high school and trying to make a serious step. Plus, she told me the post titled LOVE AIN'T HERE ANYMORE I posted was full of shit, bullshits, hipocricy, putting her in the corner, etc. She discussed this with that guy and if I'm not mistaken he told her that by reading my blog seemed that I expect her to come back to me -hey, hey, hey ... if you tell me that directly in front of my face that is a mistake and could spark the fuel of war- at the epilogue of my conversation, she didn't want me to call her, SMS-ed her, e-mail her, or in short .. all of what we had done would perish in her mind and she wanted me to do the same, well .. so much for 6 years we've known each other. If I didn't reply her email back in '99, I wouldn't be as sorrow as I am now.

Back to the next girl I'm talking now ...

Days after I broke with her, I finally decided to follow the flow. I approached this girl in a hope of a new serious relationship which taking me further into let's say hmmmm ... marriage ? O, she gave me a green light .. but she daren't to take the decision because she needed to consider lot of things. Okay, I gave her time to think and rethink don't let the same mistake happens. Once we stepped into marriage it's ideal to maintain the family not crushing it like some Indonesian artists -married and divorced as easy as flipping own palm-.

Hours before I'm writting this post, I called her from my cell phone .. to my surprise it wasn't her answering my call, but .. A MALE ?? hmmm, taking positive thinking her cell might've been stolen and the thief answered my call. But if I make a generalization, errr .. it's like this my cell phone was also lost twice before now and based on my exprience after the phone was stolen it was so hard to contact the number which had been lost -the thief was smart enough to think that the 'previous' owner certainly called his lost number- not in this case, I got her tone but there was no answer. So taking the conclusion, her cell phone isn't lost; either she didn't want to answer or the guy who was talking to me didn't allow her to answer -perhaps this guy is her boyfriend .. if so, why didn't she tell me before ? IF she be frank to me days ago I wouldn't continue on- many reasons. The point is, I felt betrayed once more .... Alas!

Therefore I think I'm not taking the chance anymore. I'm sick of it.

Fortunately for me, there are many sides supporting me; my family, my sister and her husband, comrades in Battalion, Master degree fellows, etc. They all are nice to me, boy .. if I could repay all of your kindness I would, Insya Allah if there's a chance.

Battalion is like my 2nd family, superb seniors and alumni followed by good juniors and they came from different departements .. mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, civil engineering, ocean engineering, information technology, etc. Hendry Nst. (KL'98) who tailored his name as Heinrich on his PDL uniform -boy, this guy really likes German a lot-, Agung MS (IF'98) who was called as 'Singaporean Army' a dedicated ex-Battalion CO and he's running his company now together with his fellows, Eddy S(TI'99) our new CO, Rokhis (MS'01), Benny 'Benx' (MS'01) who wrote blogs as well and talked about romance things, Ucok (MS'01) .. woii awak ko kuek bana ma, aden indak amuah lari kaliliang lapangan lai udah tuo, Reza (MS'03) who always talks about bikes, engines, cars; Manan (MS'03), Jo (AS'03), David (GD'01), etc. Thank you for you all for your supports you gave to me when I was at the lowest level :)

Nooow, since I had problems regarding my romance .. TWICE, that's it .. no more. Until the Almighty Allah SWT gives me someone, I'll go by myself carry on my missions I wrote within me. I've had enough of romance ...

It's time to forget about the uncertain relationships.